Imposter Syndrome

 Triggers of Imposter Syndrome

Symptoms:

• Perfection
• overprepared
• superhero to perceived
• asking for help
• longer , harder to keep up
• learning is hard 

I am pessimist ; I have seen failures and afraid of it ; kota failure ; then college; something is holding me back. the above symptoms capture me as soon as I start out.

I feel hardworking people cannot be relaxed and happy. No boundaries of stress and pressure 

little is needed. for an example , people stick to what they decide out to do. for me , my inner voice is thali ka baingan 

genertic and childhood - both reasons have make me accomplishment

Novelty is the reason 

- I am in new world , learning new 

and the moment i find it difficult to grasp blow

srotonin release is leass

gender discrimination

askin question will expose my ignorance /clarifying - speaking up will make me vulnerable /insecure

as if I reach end of my abilities

Self doubt is at peak . defend idea. when my idea is challenged 

imposter - remain silent /procastinate''

Analyze them.

what is the situation ;How I felt insecure

Mayank stopped me in between and told me to pick it up later. As if my question is faltu 
He was not the in charge  neither he had to respond 

ask hr dashboard , he criticized,. past m toh mene aisa kia hi na h ..abi bh jese kese ho gaya 

now agar accept nai hoga 

Ankit's mother asked me about my teeth as if I am not meeting their beauty standards

Response: P  E

Physically , my voice went down. I agreed or defend myself.

i accepted and did not even tried to defend. i thought i should take it as benefit of doubt but the emotion was directing something else. there is nothing wrong in it 

emotionally  , i felt incompetent , incomplete respectively in cases 

i felt worthless in all cases 

jeejaan se mehnat kri

i was looking for his validation

what i was afraid of : I will be seen as maligned , incompetent teammate .

I am not deserving one in both cases 

agar batmeezi h toh that is general ettiquette woh sabke lie hogi 

i felt in case they were right , mera khoon chusenge. aur mai kuch kahungi , I will be maligned whatever action i take 

everyone will get impression something is wrong here and finally it is happening, i too confused with i /we,

jese i do not have a ground to stand 

 i afraid of my job security 

yahin jo skill h woh le rahe h .. baahar nai lenge. also what they saw in interview , i should not be proved as a wrong hire and incompetent too 

at least in technical manner

result : 

i mustered a bit of courage and with a doubt ofc agreed and defefnded my self to get through 

i afraid waha se puch aaega 

my mind does not give best answer which i know i can. it is all beause sometime i doubt overconfidence m kuch aisa na kr dun jo irreparable ho 

this is the responsibility i have taken. i have to be successful 

after i kept asking questions and looking for validation 

what could have made me feel more better 

- i assume to agree and then ask question 

- more wisdom 

- slow down the bekaar thoughts and  gradually keep the god but sharp thoughts

what stresses me - critic ; i do not know what to take and what not and how to tackle both cases 

i have to control my emotion first of all

i should not react but think through and respond.. yeh tab hoga jab yeh betaal hat jaaega mere sar p se

how i respond : self doubt ,acceept , darr , fear , insecurity 

stop emotional response , trigger rational brain