People typically shut down when someone talks for more than 40 seconds. I’d recently read that from Mark Goulston, author of Just Listen, and this past weekend I had a firsthand experience of it. When some friends of my wife’s visited us for an overnight stay, I discovered the guy, likable enough, was quite a talker. As we sat together in my office after dinner, his verbal stream of consciousness washed over me, and I wondered when he might pause to take a breath . He didn’t. I felt myself s hutting down, losing interest not just in listening to him but also in saying anything. The nonstop talking continued at breakfast the next morning, on the bike ride to the beach, and on the way back home. Not one question did he ask of my wife or me. Not surprisingly, I didn’t feel any meaningful connection with him when we said our goodbyes later that day. The History of Mind-Numbing Chitchat How ‘How are you?’ (and other meaningless phrases) came to dominate conver...